Week 36

Week 36 must be the worst week of my whole pregnancy and I'm so glad it's over. SH was down with chicken pox on day 2 of Chinese New Year and over the next few days, he got very sick, like really sick. I have never seen him so sick before. It was such a stressful period. I don't know when SH will recover. The rashes kept popping out, his high fever just didn't go away for three days and we were all so worried. I don't know if SH will recover in time to be with me in the delivery room. And it doesn't help to hear comments about all the bad things that can happen to my baby because SH has chicken pox. We are so emotionally attached to Zachy boy now and it's depressing hearing these things.

SH and I decided together that neither of us will move out after we consulted our GP and my gynae and assessed the risks. We are not being stubborn nor taking things lightly. SH and Zachy boy are equally dear to me. I had chicken pox before and I'm most probably immune to the virus. And that's why we made the decision for me to be at home and take care of SH. Seriously, I'm glad we stick it through together. I cannot imagine leaving SH to go through this whole terrible ordeal by himself. 

I know my friends have good intention when they offer advices to me. But I just wish that people be a little more sensitive when talking to mothers-to-be because the 40 weeks pregnancy is such an emotional period. It really helps if the advices are based on facts and not what one believe or think. And please don't keep going "this and that will happen to your baby" when one hasn't got the facts right. 

Thank God, SH is recovering. I'm at week 37 of my pregnancy now and this means that Zachy boy is ready to come out anytime. We are praying that Zachy boy can wait till daddy is all well and good before he decides to come out to say hi to the world.

Week 35

I used to think that the days are going by too slowly and 40 weeks is a long time. And wow, I'm already at week 35 of pregnancy and in probably less than a month's time, we are going to see Xue! He's growing really fast these few weeks and according to the scan last week, he weighs around 2.8kg. My tummy is feeling very heavy and I'm easily out of breath now. Honestly, everyday feels like I'm doing weight exercise and carrying a bowling ball around. lol.

SH and I each bought one set of new clothes for Zachy boy. Honestly these tiny baby clothes are so cute, we are impressed that we could walk out of the stores without a basketful of clothes. lol. Oh yes, we remembered that our boy already has more clothes than his dad now.

These days I'm often at home working on my craft projects. Progress is slow since I can't sit down for long at my work table but still good. The baby quilt is close to completion, just a little more hand binding to do. I made a few other things for Zachy boy too and I will post about them soon!

This afternoon, I gave all the stuffs in my makeup box a good wipe down too. It will be months before I'll be back in action and this is a good break to do some spring cleaning for my box. It's Chinese New Year's eve tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to my steamboat reunion dinner! Have a great Chinese New Year friends!

My MAGD list

I like dreaming about and planning for my future but I simply dislike setting specific yearly goals for myself. This probably sound completely contradicting but my past attempts of setting yearly specific goals really stressed me up a lot. I have a plan for my life that isn't static because I'm still figuring out my purpose and my desired lifestyle. Thus this makes me think too much into the specific goals I set: are they really helping me to work towards my grand plan?

So no more specific goals with numbers and deadlines! I want to try something different. And on one afternoon, I scribbled down a list of short phrases which I like to call them my Make a Good Day or MAGD List. Honestly, I was feeling rather pleased because I think they might work! This isn't a checklist where I will feel lousy about not checking off anything. Instead every phrase in the list are more like guiding words to help me focus everyday on creating a purposeful and happy life. I'm expecting them to change with my grand plan and as time goes by, I may be back to add or remove any items.

I'm feeling very excited and determined to make 2013 a really good year!

Our little one

At week 33, my tummy is already too big for my comfort, especially during work but I'm really enjoying the whole pregnancy experience! It fascinates me every time the little one does his daily stretches and I am reminded that there's a little life growing in me. SH and I are amazed how we already feel so attached to our little one and we can't wait to hold him in our arms!

Work is slowing down and I'm finally getting down to set up baby's little corner and prepare his stuff. I'm getting so many baby DIY ideas from books and websites and I'm excited to get started on them! Haha this is the next fun thing about having a baby, isn't it?

30

I'm officially 30. It's funny to recall how a year ago, I was really dreading for this day to come. It wasn't about turning old that freaked me out. It was the thought of having to decide what I want to do and make a final dash for my dreams before kids come along. So I set myself this 'death sentence' and I got very stressed that I wouldn't be able to dream anymore after 30.

I am just grateful for an enlightening chat with a wise good friend to help me put everything into better perspective. Over dinner one night, WL shared with me how she felt more empowered and ready to accomplish more things now than when she was younger.

What she said got me thinking about everything that has happened in my life. I married my best friend and this was the best thing that happened to me. I wake up every morning feeling so blessed because no matter what I choose to do, I know SH will always stand by me. Then we went to Sweden, and there, we were inspired to create a balanced, purposeful and simple life together. When I returned to SG, I joined The Make Up Room and words can't explain how blessed I am to be part of this family! I can freely and passionately pursue my interest in makeup with the guidance of my wonderful bosses and colleagues. In March, our little family of two will become three! We are very excited and really looking forward for our boy to be part of our life journey.

At 30, my dreams are just beginning to come true! It's indeed empowering to realise that I have a lifetime to chase my dreams, my life don't stop at 30 and I have SH (and my little boy) to walk this adventure-filled life with me.

Turning 30 never felt better.

Thoughts from Find me a Singaporean

It's a day off after a week of work and I decided to spend it at home. While aimlessly scrolling through the posts in my Facebook, I stopped at one about a local programme Find Me A Singaporean. I haven't watch this show before so I have no idea why today, I stopped at that post and went on to check out their Facebook page. In this travelogue, the host Belinda Lee travels to visit Singaporeans at different corners of the world. These SIngaporeans share about their life away from home as they pursue their dreams and do amazing things abroad. Here are summaries of two of the episodes which I took from their Facebook page:

"Singaporean couple Jason Goh and Wong Poh Lai who moved to Thailand in 1999. In early 2005, they moved to Baan Namkem, a village that was hardest hit by the tsunami in 2004. What started as a short term tsunami relief effort has since evolved into a long term community development project which provide free meals for the children of poor families, a full day school to allow the underprivileged children in the area an access to education and other skill development related courses to the impoverished villagers."

"Following the path of love, Doreen landed in Stockholm 20 years ago. 20 years later, she has not only built herself a home, and also carved out a successful career in Sweden’s leading clothing label company. Belinda spends midsummer, the most magical time of the Swedish year, with Doreen and her family. Together, they participate in the Swedish Midsummer Festival. Amidst all the songs, dance and fun in summer, Belinda discovers some bonds do not break, no matter where you are."

I'm really not envious that they can live abroad or of what they are doing. What strikes a chord in me here is their courage to choose the meaningful life they want to live. Meaningful in my opinion isn't solely about changing the world or helping the poor, sick etc. It's about loving what we are doing, feeling driven and inspired in the day, feeling happy and accomplished at the end of the day and waking up the next wanting to do everything better. No matter what we do - a teacher, a pastor, a banker, a waiter, an engineer, a stay home mum - we can all live a meaningful life. These amazing people not only found but also chose to live a life which truly matters to them.

Last Sunday, I went on to catch one of their episodes. It is about this 23 year old Raymond who moved to Poland to pursue his interest in Equine therapy (using horses to facilitate therapy and growth) and also to further his music studies at the Warsaw University Chopin Institute of Music. At the same age, I never thought about my life being more than graduating with a good degree and finding a good job. Yet, this young chap has dreamt bigger and is not afraid to seek his dream lifestyle, even if it means relocating to half a globe away alone. His story showed me that there are endless permutations of how we can live our life and that there is no boundary (geographically or mentally) as to how far we can go to pursue what we want.

Friends have been telling me about how lucky I am to be doing what I love now. Don't be mistaken, you are right! I love what I am doing now, I am happy everyday dolling up ladies and for that, I'm truly thankful. I just believe that being a makeup artist is more than putting on beautiful makeup for people. Am I setting a boundary for myself? Is there a bigger purpose in what I am doing? Is there more to life than what I am seeing and doing now?

People who know what their calling in life is are truly blessed and they never stop inspiring me to find mine one day. When I do, I want to have the courage to follow my dream. I hope you will too. And don't stop seeking.

4 months in a blink

My last entry was dated a good 4 months ago. Not surprising, since I already have past records that I just can't sustain a blog for long. My utmost respect for some of my friends make a point to record every event in their life. It's such a wonderful thing to have all these words and photos to look at and be able to relive all the important moments of their life for many years to come.

Having said that, I know I'm still too lazy to maintain a blog about my daily life. But I will make it a point not to let this blog die. The fact is that I do enjoy reading through all my past entries so I guess this will keep me motivated to pop in and blog once in a while.

The past four months have been really eventful. I started a fashion blog, ftashion with my dear friend Ashley. ftashion is already 10 months old now! Then came my 3 weeks winter holidays with hubby and friends. Karlskrona - Helsinki - Oulu - Stockholm - Kiruna - åre - Karlskrona. Then hubby and I went to Iceland in Jan and Norway in Feb where we finally caught the spectacular Northern light. This ended our grand Europe tour and we prepared ourselves to move home. 1st April, I flew home for the first time in 17 months. Then we spent our next three weeks getting our room ready, unpacking and catching up with families and friends.

That's a brief summary of what happened in 4 months. And now, I'm recounting these events back in Singapore. I should have an entry dedicated to my Sweden stay. It has been such an awesome stay, I really wouldn't trade it with anything else. For now, a short entry seems good to get me started and I'll leave that Sweden entry for another time. See u guys!

Enthusiasm and hard work

[I wrote this few weeks back but didn't complete the entry till today.]

I had a great chat with an old friend the other day. We talked about our life, dreams and future. I want to pursue makeup. She loves crafts. But at the moment, our skills are just not good enough to make a career out of our hobbies. And with family commitment, the stakes are high when we want to make a living out of our passion. There're just so much uncertainties along this route. It's like having a walk in the forest. Instead of following the well-worn and direct track, I wander off into woods. And I'm thinking: Should I turn back? What's at the end point? Can I make it to the end? On really lousy days, I feel these negative thoughts consuming my will and I just don't know what I'm doing and how to carry on.

Fortunately for me, I'm blessed with a very supportive husband and very encouraging friends. It was great talking to a friend who's very much experiencing the same situation as me. The chat left both of us motivated. Instead of worrying about the uncertainties, why not channel the time to develop our skills?

When I went home that day, I shared with SH what we talked about. And he showed me this quote from a book:

" I once heard that three human ingredients will combine to produce success in any field of endeavour: enthusiasm, talent and hard work and that a person can be successful with only two of those attributes as long as one of the two is enthusiasm."

Not everyone is born with special talents, but this shouldn't stop us from dreaming big. Let's turn dreams to reality with enthusiasm and hard work. =D

For all my friends who're pursuing their dreams too, stay positive and go for it!

My new toy

I was all green with envy watching SH play with his new camera & new lens for the past two weeks. And to top it off, Mr Postman came a few times and dropped notification slips to collect parcels at the post office, but they were all for SH.

I was thinking that the online shop probably missed my order but my new toy finally arrived last week!

When I was little, my mum would sew dresses for me and teach me how to make little dresses for my barbie doll. None of what I learnt from my mum and home economics lessons remains. Guess for a start, I should do some really simple projects and get used to this new machine.

Let's see, how do I wind my bobbin and thread the needle?

On a side note, I started sewing with this old Singer sewing machine and my mum still has it at home. Isn't it pretty?

Leaving Karlskrona earlier?

Over dinner last night, SH told me that we may be returning to SG earlier, most probably in March next year. Many friends have told me that their return dates have been delayed several times so I'm not surprised with the change in our date of return. We will only have confirmation about our return in December. SH asked if the arrangement was alright. I replied him: "I'll be very sad to leave, but it's ok."

Guess we came knowing that we are not staying for good, but the thought of leaving Karlskrona (and possibly not coming back anymore) really saddens me. This place has just begun to feel like home.

But the logical side of me knows that it's better this way. I have been avoiding thinking about my plans in SG and an earlier return will mean that I should make some decisions very soon.



Just one more autumn, winter and spring left.

爱心 Parcel 3!

Hey WL, thank you for the 爱心 parcel! Wow, collagen facial masks, exactly what my dry and tanned skin needs now! Thanx again babe!

Internet Restraining Order

Based on the following symptoms, I think I'm addicted to the internet:

1) I sat at the very same spot for hours (and didn't budge at all even when my body was aching from inactivity) surfing the net,

2) I was aimlessly clicking on links,

3) Every 10 minutes or so, I would refresh my Facebook page,

4) and I find myself re-visiting (and even re-re-visiting) blogs on the same day!

At the end of the day, I felt pretty awful for accomplishing nothing. In trying to cure my addiction, I issued myself a restraining order - no internet for a week.



OKAY, here's a confession to make. I did use my Iphone to check my facebook and mailbox which I guess is (just) a minor breach of the order. =b

How did I spent my time then? Reading books, doing sports, visiting friends and exploring my town. And when I don't coop myself up at home surfing net, I definitely felt better and got more things done. But maybe I shouldn't be so cruel to myself and should do a slight modification to the restraining order. Maybe an hour a day?

The End Begins: Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

We watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 on Saturday. The movie got me nostalgic and wanting to read all the books over again! I recalled having a mixed feeling while reading the last book: I was dying to know the ending yet I couldn't bear to finish the book. And true enough, I was rather depressed when I flipped over the last page.

It's the same mixed feeling I have now for the Harry Potter film series. I can't wait to catch Part 2 of Deathly Hallows in July but it's so sad to know that there's just one part left and there will not be any more Harry Potter films or books to look forward to.

The first novel Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was released in 1997 and the movie in 2001. Gasp! I can't believe I have been following the books and films for over 10 years! Harry Potter must be the longest film series I have ever watched. It's so amazing to watch the characters actually grow up in the movies like how they did in the books. Daniel Radcliffe was 11 when he acted as Harry Potter in the first movie and he's 21 now.

Never mind that the movies felt disjointed. Even the author herself understands that it is simply impossible to incorporate every detail into the film which has to be kept under 2 - 4 hours. Reading the books first before watching the movies is highly recommended and you can do the connections yourself when the scenes jump too quickly or abruptly. And besides, isn't it fun to watch the movies like you have seen them before, in your imagination?

Balanced Life (for now)

My life has never felt so 'balanced' before.

My typical day starts with a short stroll early in the morning to my school. And it will be an hour or so of teaching Chemistry to the IB students. I will return home after my class and will usually have some time to either read a book, surf the net or study Swedish online before preparing lunch for SH. He's back at noon and we'll have lunch together. Then I'll be at the bridal shop for 3 - 4 hours before heading home to do some baking, read my book or finish some housework/schoolwork etc and prepare dinner. After our dinner, we'll spend some time together watching movies, playing boardgames, eating icecream or just talking about our day.

A dear friend posted a question recently: Are you spending time on what matters most to you? Her question makes me wonder if I will ever return to full time teaching. In SG, it's a perpetual struggle to keep everything like family, friends, work, dreams, personal time in equilibrium. Unfailingly, I end up in difficult situations where I have to choose between work and the rest (family, friends, dreams, personal time) and the former prevails (quite regrettably) most of the time. I used to spend so much time working in school, but does this matter most to me?

I think I'm somewhat enlightened by my stay in Sweden. Life can be balanced and happier. Of course, there go my monthly pocket money and big fat bonus at the end of the year! =b

Picking up my Brushes!

Life's been busy but very fulfilling and I'm really thankful for it.

For three months, I was eagerly looking for makeup studios or schools to practise makeup but to no avail. They either did not reply me at all or were located too far away. As I was walking around and exploring my town one day, I chanced upon a bridal shop. I wrote in immediately after I got home to apply to be a makeup artist. They replied to arrange for an interview and eventually accepted my application after the interview!

I am really thrilled to be able to pick up my brushes after 4 months. There is a private fashion show on Wednesday and my boss has kindly offered to bring me along and let me do the makeup for some of the models. I will share some photos here after the event. =D

Seek and You Shall Find

Let's see if I can put my thoughts down properly into words.

While I really appreciate my new life now, there are times when I just can't help thinking about what I can achieve if I'm still in SG. For the past four months, my life revolved around the mundane activities like cooking and doing housework. These things used to be very insignificant and now, they are my 'key performance indicators'. But cooking a good meal or finishing all the housework just can't give the same sense of accomplishment from teaching and makeup or simply put, I just don't feel proud being a good housewife. On some bad days, I feel pretty lousy about having nothing to define my success and achieving nothing everyday.

This is really not a post to elicit empathetic comments to cheer myself up. In fact, I sorted out my thoughts a few weeks back and I'm feeling all good and motivated now. =D

Guess I wasted enough time resenting about my unexciting life as a housewife and if I continue to do so, I'm dead certain I will regret about wasting my stay here when I return to SG. I used to dream about having time to do what I love, but yet I'm being such an oxy-moron by doing 'nothing' here. So for a couple of days, I sat by the window with my notebook, scribbling down my goals and plans. And I realized that there were so many things I could do but I just didn't make enough effort previously. Though I'm unsure if all my plans will work, I believe things will happen if I don't quit trying. Seek and I will find!

爱心 Parcels 2

This is a really overdue post! In Jan, I received some 爱心 parcels from SG!



1) A pair of earrings from SIL for my birthday

2) A CNY card from FIL

3) A Chomel hair accessory and a birthday card from MY, Jas and HT

4) A hair band, gingerbread mickey and minnie mouse clips and 2011 diary from Ash. The clips and diary were from her Japan honeymoon trip.

Hey thank you all for having me in your heart. Really appreciate the effort to prepare the gifts and sending them over! It's really heartwarming to receive parcels from family and friends. Thank you!!

爱心 Parcel!

I'm back at home! The trip was great and I will definitely do an update soon. It feels really good to be home after 10 days of traveling. And to top it all off, when I opened my door, I saw this parcel from Singapore! Thank you JA for having me in your heart. =D

Christmas is round the corner! Do take time and enjoy the day with your loved ones. Have a blessed Christmas!